


Holiday Blues

by AU_Queen



Category: RWBY
Genre: Body hate, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, established Archester, fluff?, holiday times, trans!Jaune
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:19:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8643850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AU_Queen/pseuds/AU_Queen
Summary: Jaune is having a hard time with his body.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've heard that the holiday season can be hard for some. So this is for the people who are having a difficult time. This is a safe place for anyone.

His hands claw at the breasts that every bones in his body is telling him should not be there. Desperately his fingers dig and push. He just wants them gone. Back against the wall, he slides down to a sitting position. His hands move from the offensive things hanging off his chest to his head. A mantra of I can't do this echoing through his head as tears sting at the corners of his eyes.  
“Joan? You okay in there?” Pyrrha's concerning voice calls to him, but the usage of his birth name mocks him. It feels like he's being kicked in the gut and definitely brings a new meaning to the phrase ‘kicking a man when he's down’.  
“Please don't call me that.” he moans from the room, flinching at the all-too-feminine voice coming from his mouth.  
“Sorry.” he can hear Pyrrha's voice like a whisper from beyond the closed door. “Jaune? Do you want me to get him?”  
Before he can think about it, the word is already out, “Yes.” He knows she's talking about his boyfriend, Cardin. Jaune wasn't really sure he wanted him to see him like this. His nose was red and runny and tears drew tracks against his cheeks. He didn't need a mirror to know he looked like he was run through a washer. It wasn't often he got like this. So disgusted with the gender assigned to him by birth. These days were always his worst. He just wanted to sit in a corner of his room without any human interaction. But it was a holiday and he was required to make an appearance instead of hiding away in the bathroom at his friend’s place. He really wished he owned a binder. The only good thing about his breasts was the fact that they were small, barely there. Although they were still enough to let people know he was born female. And there enough to make him feel like everyone was staring at them on days like this.  
It made him happy that Pyrrha would invite him over to celebrate with her, her family, and their friends. Even after he had to turn her down for a date, he didn't like girls and he almost felt bad because she was really nice about it, they were able to stay good friends. Though sometimes she would get his name or pronouns wrong. But he didn't hold that against her. Sometimes it was hard for people to switch from what they saw to something else. Even if that something else was the truth. He didn't hold that against them though, especially when he saw how hard some people tried. Then there were the people who just refused to see it. Whether it was against their views or they were just jerks, it always hurt. He didn't think it would ever not.  
Still in the middle of his musing he didn't realize Cardin was at the door until the knocking went from gentle to loud, Cardin's voice especially worried. Almost broken. Jaune felt bad, he'd been too far into his thoughts to hear him. He hadn't meant to make him worried. “Jaune? Jaune are okay? Please answer me.”  
“I'm okay.” his voice was quiet, but it was still able to penetrate the wood.  
“Thank God. Please open the door.” Jaune removed himself from the floor long enough to unlock the door and crack it open, immediately returning to the floor and hugging his knees to himself when his task was done. A shiver went through him when his legs pressed against his breasts, reminding him of the problem.  
Entering the room, Cardin closed and relocked the door. He took a seat next to Jaune, grabbing his arm without a word and examining it. Jaune gave a grim smile  
at the action. He had a moment in time where he cut. The pain was just too much. He had stopped, but Cardin knew it was days like this that had started it so he wanted to be sure he stayed safe. Jaune was glad for the action. It let him know that there was at least one person in this world who cared about him. Cardin sighed with relief when he didn't find any scratches other then the faint scars. His next move was another instinctive one. He turned Jaune so he was behind him before pulling Jaune to his chest. Then he let his hands rest on Jaune's stomach. They didn't say anything. Jaune simply breathed and Cardin just held him.  
It took a few minutes before Jaune felt okay enough to leave the bathroom. Before they left, Cardin just kissed him on the cheek, whispering an “I love you, no matter what.” in his ear. With a deep breath, Jaune opened the door and stepped out. He wasn't completely ready to face the many people in the living room, but Cardin’s hand over his helped. Cardin squeezed and Jaune smiled up at him, getting a smile in return. At least one person would be there for him, calling him the right pronouns. With a look room, he remembered that Ren, Nora, and Pyrrha were also there. With a genuine smile he went to sit with his friends. Four people weren't a lot, but they were enough.


End file.
